jessi_godsgift (jessi_godsgift) wrote,
jessi_godsgift
jessi_godsgift

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And so, against my better judgement, I have joined LiveJournal...

I've been around a good long while, and I don't normally succumb to fads or fashions. Instead, I tend to stay on the outside and look in. I mean, I can barely relate to most of humanity, so why should I even try.

However, as time has gone by I have decided that I can give in and get a "blog" as I have heard it be called.

And thus, here it is.

So, who am I? That's a bit of a doozy, and you probably won't believe me but I don't really care.

I'm Jessica, daughter of God.

....no, no you did read that right. No, you're not drunk.

I really am the daughter of God.

I see you're confused, so let me clear up a few things.

I am the one most commonly known as "jesus".

I'll bet you wanna know how that came about. So I shall tell you.

Back in the day (I love that phrase..) when dear old mom got the call from the angel, God got all excited beforehand and was like "It's a boy!"
Hahahaha and then I had to show up...as a girl. The wise men didn't know that, because they got there after all the pain and crying and "OH shit, what are we gonna do!" had been finished with. Mary and Joseph decided they wouldn't tell anyone the messiah was a girl, and gave me the name Jesus, and kept up with this entire charade up until the point I died.

Which, let me tell you, was not fun. Rawhide was used to hide my breasts, I wore these horrific diapers to hide the fact that I was suffering from the monthlies (not unlike adult diapers in this day and age...except washable. Ick.) and I had to keep a fake beard by my side all my life. It sucked!

C'mon, are you telling me you never questioned why I didn't marry anyone? Well, thats why!

Anywho. I'll take questions if you're really interested and NOT being a jerkwad. Ok? Cool.

Its late, and I can hear that irritating whisper that is my 'dad' speaking to me, telling me I should go to bed.

I wish he'd stop with that crap...
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